Lucille Belén Hope

Lucille Belén Hope

Jason, Nicole, Isabel, and Gabriel invite you to celebrate the life of Lucille “Lucy” Belén Hope. Visitation will be held from 10:00 AM until 10:30 AM and funeral services will begin at 10:30 AM on Friday, June 7, 2024.The family request any donations be made to Carolina Pregnancy Center carolinapregnancy.org103 Metro Dr, Spartanburg, SC 29303.

Revelation 21:1-7 

Dear friends,

Our precious third child, Lucille “Lucy” Belén Hope was born straight into Jesus’ arms this week. As Jason first held her tiny body here on Earth, Jesus embraced her glorified body in our true home in Heaven. She was met there by Jason’s Abuelita and my Grammy, and she leaves behind a grieving but joyful family. Her name means “Light of Bethlehem” reminding us of the star, pointing the world to Jesus. Our prayer has been from day one that she would be a bright light to illuminate a dark world by pointing to and reflecting Jesus.

Jason and I wanted more time with her here first. To love her, to teach her things, and to know her heart as she got older.

As it is, she will know love perfectly, and be able to one day demonstrate to us a love never tainted by selfishness, greed, or insecurity; because she learned to love directly from her Heavenly Father, face to face in complete wholeness.

When we arrive in Heaven, she will begin to teach us more than we could have ever taught her here; because of perfect wisdom gained in Heaven after learning directly from the feet of Jesus and the saints who went before us. 

And though we wanted time here to get to know her heart, her passions, and her unique sense of humor and perspective; we will have eternity to talk, explore the new Heaven and new Earth when they one day meet, and spend time together with both her and our Lord and Savior in intimate fellowship filled with laughter and unencumbered joy. 

I felt her heart beat its last on Tuesday night, in hers and God’s own timing. I was severely pressured to abort her two weeks ago, because the doctors believed it would improve my outcomes in surgery, because they could go straight for a hysterectomy instead of cutting into my uterus with the invasive and highly vascular Placenta Percreta being everywhere. However, the right to create and take life belongs to our Creator only, and on that I was firm, regardless of the potential risk to myself.

This was a dark and terrifying time. One doctor got in my face telling me I was killing myself because the Percreta was so invasive throughout my lower body and that I was choosing Lucy over Isabel and Gabriel, all for nothing because I wouldn’t even be able to survive myself if this pregnancy progressed any further. She was unrelenting as I wept while Jason twice asked her to leave the room.

In the months prior to the month long hospitalization, one doctor called my condition “omimous” multiple times. Another said it was one of the worst cases of Percreta he had personally seen in his long career. For the past several weeks in the hospital on bed rest, my team of doctors offered me no hope about my own survival. I lay in bed every night, holding my breath, knowing the specialists who would provide me the only shot of survival for both me and Lucy were at home and asleep and would have to be called in, possibly too late, should the surgery become emergent in the middle of the night. My MRI showing the scope of the Placenta Percreta was devastating, and indicated that the placenta had invaded multiple highly vascular organs that would need to be removed creating a potentially catastrophic blood loss situation. Between the OR and local blood bank, they had 18 units of blood set aside for me specifically because of my rare blood type (thank you to everyone who donated on my behalf) ready for my surgery, enough to completely replace the blood for two grown adults. This is an unheard of amount. And they still weren’t sure it would be enough. They were planning for a 6-8 hour surgery to remove my organs and the invasive placenta. However, even with my uterus (the original blood source of the placenta) removed, it could now grow on its own because of the new blood sources it had attached itself to. One doctor mentioned his concern about how long they’d have to cut off and manage blood flow to my legs during this long procedure and the condition I would be permanently left in if I survived. The likely backup plan, if placenta removal became impossible, was abysmal. It involved cauterizing what was possible, closing me back up, putting me on chemotherapy to attempt to kill the remaining placenta over time. If this procedure also failed, I was left with the increased likelihood of internally bleeding out up to a month or more later in my home during the night. Jason and I made preparations to have another adult there for the foreseeable future in order to mitigate the chances of one of my children finding me first. Best case scenario for my surgery, I would have a long ICU stay, and possibly never get to hold Lucy and maybe even miss her funeral. 

Lucy’s heartbeat was so strong every single day, and I promised her I would go to the end with her. As long as she hung in there, I would hang in there with her. We were a team fighting a common enemy of invasive organs. Understand this… I made this decision NOT because I was choosing her over anyone else, but because I would have chosen ANY of my children in any life or death situation over myself. And I knew with time and maturity, Isabel and Gabriel would KNOW without a doubt that they had a mother who fiercely loved them just as much, and would have also given herself for either of them as well. Lucy’s body was smaller but no less valuable and no less worthy to live than either of her siblings. 

Wednesday morning, my dread was confirmed, and I saw her still heart with no heartbeat on the ultrasound. My doctor was as shocked as I was… out of all the possibilities discussed, this was not near the top of likely outcomes. 

Although she may not have had conscious physical thought yet, it is my firm belief that God supernaturally offered her a choice, and she chose to sacrifice her life to save mine by radically simplifying the dangerous surgical procedure ahead of me. It should have been me sacrificing for her, but instead she chose to lay her life down for me, and for the rest of our family. I’ve now had two people die for me. Jesus, who saved me eternally and secured my home in heaven after I someday take my last breath. And Lucy, who together with Jesus decided that my last breath was not to be this week, and who lovingly, selflessly, and purely innocent offered herself up that I may live on earth with her Papa, brother, and sister, awhile longer. Lucille Belén, our light of Bethlehem, reflected Jesus’ pure sacrifice and will continue to illuminate the way to Him for anyone to whom He may be calling out to right now. 

With both deep grief and humility, I entered surgical pre-op Thursday morning facing the battle that my medical team and I have been preparing for since the beginning of March. I said my goodbyes to my family, and kissed my husband, a man of stalwart strength and faith, for the last time. Jason and I have been saying goodbye for the last month, even while maintaining hope that our Creator and Healer would intervene and reverse the Placenta Percreta. In fact, thousands of people have been praying for the Percreta to reverse, shrink, disappear, and be healed entirely. So many of my nurses laid hands on me and begged God for my healing in the last few days. 

With both great peace and sadness in my soul, I was wheeled off to surgery. I knew that I would wake up, either here with most of my family, or in Heaven with Lucy and Jesus. At my request, my nurse ensured that my worship playlist was playing straight into my ear during the operation in order to focus my unconscious thoughts on Christ’s peace and joy as I prepared to possibly meet him face to face. 

And then I woke up. After only two hours of surgery. “What happened?” I asked, fearing that they had closed me up early because the damage was too extensive and they couldn’t remove anything without immediate threat of loss of life, which meant possibly dying at home later in front of my kids. “The Percreta wasn’t as bad as we thought it was. Almost non-existent outside the uterus except for one small spot.” I asked, “How is that possible?” and was told, “who knows. Bad MRI image? We got lucky. You didn’t even need a single unit of blood. You won’t need an ICU stay, and you can go back to labor and delivery in a few minutes and hold your baby as long as you want before you say goodbye to her. Your husband is there with her now. You should be discharged in a few days.”

Friends and family, the original MRI image was clear. God saved me supernaturally and removed the placenta Percreta from the most life threatening locations in my body. Lucy’s sacrifice and God’s healing are why I’m alive at this moment. I believe they both honored my commitment to her life and obedience to God, and together extended to me an ocean of grace and mercy. I was wheeled to my private L&D room that Lucy and I have been living in for the last three weeks, and held her, kissed her, talked to her, sang over her, and snuggled her for hours. It was the most joyous time, I can’t explain it. To have been the recipient of so much love from someone so tiny is an overwhelming experience that I will remember everyday of the rest of my life. She spared me the pain and heartache of having to guess when the right time to deliver her was, and forever I am indebted to her and will honor her life.

Now, we move forward, riding alternating waves of grief and joy. Death and deliverance. Sobbing and celebration. Jason and I will figure this out together as we also navigate breaking our oldest child’s heart, and instilling memories, love, and honor for Lucy in our younger child who will not even remember this time in our lives. Lucy, Isabel, and Gabriel will not get to grow up together as Isabel has dreamed about these last few months. But it was all worth it to have expanded and deepened the love and faith in our family across the earthly and heavenly realms, and I would do it again to know that there is a precious soul in her glorified body eagerly waiting for us and praying for us in heaven. 

Thank you to those who have hit the floor on their knees to pray for us. Thank you to those who are bringing meals and gifts to my kids. Thank you to Jason’s and my parents who dropped everything to help us, and who each got to meet and hold Lucy. Thank you to my sister, who has been “other mama” to my kids this month and is the only person in the world to have been able to hold Lucy and her own child to be born in the next few weeks at the same time. Thank you to my L&D nurses, who protected me both physically and spiritually and took care of the needs of Jason as well as the rest of my family. Thank you to Jason, who has poured out his love to me without holding anything back these last few months, while also becoming the single pillar of strength keeping our house upright, all with so much grace and faith. During the darkest and worst weeks and recent days of my life as everything fell apart, I have never experienced so much love.